Somehow I feel compelled to write about this topic today. Not sure if it will turn into a rant or what, but a quick Google search revealed that I am not alone with my, shall we say, “concerns”.

Firstly, let me explain my position on oral sex. I am not very fussed about it myself, it feels nice but it doesn’t make me cum. But, I am extremely conscious that I make sure things are clean and in order before anyone goes near there with their mouth. As in – I don’t mind sex during that time of the month, but I don’t want anyone licking stuff I wouldn’t want to taste back if I get a kiss afterwards. If I have any doubts, I’ll have a quick clean beforehand or refuse and suggest something else instead.

Even though I don’t quite see the attraction in receiving oral for anything other than a warm up to the main event, I understand that most men love getting it. I’ve never had any complaints about technique or anything, perhaps I had watched enough porn before attempting it for the first time to know roughly what to do. I don’t mind giving head, but I have serious issues when it comes to personal hygiene.

I’ve tried the whole wipe-it-down-with-a-wet-cloth-beforehand routine. It doesn’t work. Neither does rinsing it under warm water for a bit. I don’t know if it’s a circumcised vs. uncircumcised issue but somehow no matter how hard I try to put it out of my mind, when I try giving head, it tastes of urine.

It’s not that he doesn’t shower, and he has even started to wipe off any stray drops after taking a wee but somehow it doesn’t seem to help. Always after a blow job I just have this aftertaste in the back of my throat that seems to find its way into my nose and doesn’t go away for at least half an hour. And I particularly dislike if he pulls back his foreskin wanting me to lick his head directly. Even though it looks clean, it smells pretty bad. I don’t think I’m very fussy, I don’t mind tasting a bit of sweat, or even swallowing.

I just mind that public toilet smell.

I guess it’s more difficult keeping it clean, but it just irks me that for noticing it, I’m apparently picky. Because this never used to be an issue. I have two theories about that. Firstly, apparently when you’re super aroused you are less likely to find things off putting. In the beginning of our relationship we were absolutely crazy which may have caused me not to really notice these things.

But my second theory is probably more viable (and less insulting): We were in Asia, where he didn’t use toilet paper but instead washed after going to the toilet. Perhaps it was just cleaner that way?

Well anyway. I guess I’m just a bit annoyed. I know what I smell like and base my decision on whether or not to agree to oral on that knowledge and I wish others were as self aware. Judging from what I found googling the topic of urine smell during oral I have come across entire discussions of women noting the same thing. And surprisingly a lot of men who think wiping their dicks instead of a halfhearted shake or two is gay. All I can say to that is if you’re happy leaving drops of piss all over your underwear all day, don’t expect more than a handjob.

But if he’s making an effort keeping things clean, why the hell does the smell not go away?